Living a Lie
by Lord Archive
Summary: The greatest of lies are the ones we tell ourselves until we are unable to escape them.
1. Taichi

Living a Lie - Taichi  
  
By: Lord Archive  
  
Digimon belongs to Toei Animation Co., Fox Kids, Saban Entertainment, Bandai, and so on... and is used without consent. I'm only borrowing them I'll return them as soon as they release uncut episodes with original Japanese language and subtitles.  
Daisuke: What?! They'll never do that!  
Archive: It's not my fault they won't cater to their market.  
  
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I once heard somewhere there was no greater pain than being near the one you love but can never express it. I can vouch for that. I've been maimed, turned into a key-chain, chewed on, dropped off a cliff, drowned, and probably have been dead once or twice during all of that, and still the pain I feel now is worse.  
  
We were always good friends. For as long as I can remember we were friends. Even before the Digital World, I knew who I could rely on. To always be there for me when I needed it. But apparently I wasn't. By the time I knew what I felt, it was too late. My love was dating my best friend, because I wouldn't realize what we had.   
  
Part of me wouldn't give up hope. Their relationship wouldn't last. How could it? They didn't show much sign of liking each other before. But it did last. After almost three years of dating they got married on August first. A day I once cherished turned into one day I wished the calendar would skip. And I was the damned Best Man.  
  
How many times could I have stopped this? How many times did I fail to get my famed courage together and admit how I felt?   
  
If it had been anyone else besides my best friend, I would've been able to say it. But they became so happy together I didn't want to interfere, didn't want to see either of them hurt... So I said nothing at all. I just waited, praying something would happen but hoping it wouldn't for their happiness.  
  
Now... now all chance is lost. They're going to have a baby. My love is starting a family, a family that I'm only a part of because my little sister is engaged to their little brother.  
  
I'll try to be a good uncle to the kid, even though he should never have been. But it's my fault for letting all the chances go. Never taking a risk.  
  
I'm such a coward.  
  
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Author's Notes:  
  
I purposely left this part ambiguous as to whether Taichi is in love with Sora or Yamato. Chose which ever you prefer.  



	2. Yamato

Living a Lie - Yamato  
  
By: Lord Archive  
  
Digimon belongs to Toei Animation Co., Fox Kids, Saban Entertainment, Bandai, and so on... and is used without consent. I'm only borrowing them I'll return them as soon as they release uncut episodes with original Japanese language and subtitles.  
Daisuke: What?! They'll never do that!  
Archive: It's not my fault they won't cater to their market.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
I'm such a jerk. I've used my friends in a way that is unimaginable. Using them to cover something I'm ashamed of. Something that would disgrace my family if they ever found out.  
  
Here I am married to a girl who at one time was in love with my best friend. I know she still cares a lot about him and she would be better off with him. But she had to fall in love with me. Someone who is undeserving of her love.  
  
Someone who doesn't even really want her love.  
  
I don't want her love, I want the love of a man. If anyone found out about that, I'd be in serious trouble. My recording contracts would disappear, my family would disown me, and my friends would reject me.  
  
Sure, I enjoyed having sex with my wife. It is pleasurable after all. It's just that I'd rather be with a guy. When she gets so hot and bothered, sometimes it takes all my will power just to perform for her. To keep up my act of being a nice healthy heterosexual husband like she wants me to be. She certainly isn't happy about my 'fetish' for anal sex, but she still lets me do that some times.  
  
My wife was someone I respected, a friend from a time when we had to fight to survive, a comrade in arms in a war we hadn't asked to be in, someone who loves me. I hope she never figures out that I'm a homosexual. That she never finds out how much I betrayed the love she gave me.  
  
And why did I marry her? To keep my shame a secret. To hide what I am to everyone. If I didn't marry her, people would wonder why I never accepted any of the groupies that follow my band. They'd question why I never show interests in girls. With my wife, no one has to ask anything. I'm just being loyal to her.  
  
But, I don't know how much longer I can keep the charade up anymore. I just found out I'm going to be a father. I'm not ready to raise a kid. My music career takes up too much time for me to help raise him.   
  
And just how good of a father can a lying fag like me be to a kid? How can I tell him lying is wrong when he is a result of a lie? If I had been true to myself all along, he would've never been born.  
  
I don't deserve to have any friends.  
  



	3. Sora

Living a Lie - Sora  
  
By: Lord Archive  
  
Digimon belongs to Toei Animation Co., Fox Kids, Saban Entertainment, Bandai, and so on... and is used without consent. I'm only borrowing them I'll return them as soon as they release uncut episodes with original Japanese language and subtitles.  
Daisuke: What?! They'll never do that!  
Archive: It's not my fault they won't cater to their market.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
How could I've been so blind? I've known him since we were little. My oldest memories are with him. I had always thought of him as a friend, a brother. Someone to rely on, someone who was always there for me. Then I left him. Left him for a friendly pretty face, because I didn't know what I truly felt.  
  
My powers stem from love, so how can I not have realized the one I really loved had always been my best friend? But I didn't realize it.  
  
Not after I started dating his best friend. Not after losing my virginity. Not after getting married.  
  
I didn't realize it until after I found out I was pregnant. I'm going to have a baby, but the father is nothing more than a close friend. A friend who is willing to give me anything, but still just a friend.  
  
It wasn't until I saw how heart-broken the one I loved looked when I told him I was going to have a baby that I realized he liked me as more than a friend... and that I loved him.  
  
I don't know what to do anymore. I see him all the time. Especially now as I'm helping his sister prepare to get married. At least with her I'm sure she is marrying for love.   
  
I got married because it seemed natural. We date, become lovers, and get married. It's how a relationship is supposed to work. You're not supposed to marry your best childhood friend. That's almost like incest. At least that's what I had thought. But in the end I wasn't true to myself and now it's too late.  
  
I hope he finds someone deserving of his love soon. I certainly don't deserve it. I stabbed him in the back and married his best friend.  
  
I am not true to my love.  
  
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Author's Notes:  
  
These little ficts are the result of my frustrations at Toei for making Yamara an official couple. Official being that they both have shown unmistakable signs of romantic affection for each other. Yamato casually has his arm around Sora in episode 43 of Zero-Two, one of the highest forms of public display of affection allowed in Japan.   
  
I'd sooner write a Taito fict than Yamara, and I firmly believe in Taira.  
  
I might come back to these and do a full story around these mini-ficts. But don't get your hopes up unless the epilogue episode (assuming there is one) shows a much older Yamato and Sora married as one rumor says.  
  
P.S. Please don't flame about my views of the coupling or post any nonsense about other couplings in the reply. I wrote this based on my opinions, and I don't begrudge anyone for having a different opinion. If you believe in Yamara, great, if you don't, great.   
  
P.P.S. 'Taira forever!' or 'Sorato sux!' are not reviews. I'd rather you didn't post a review if that is all you're going to say.  



End file.
